Dealing With Betrayal

People are not perfect. We are flawed and make careless mistakes. Other people will certainly hurt youit is unavoidable. Whether it be intentional or not, when people you care for and trusted hurt you, it can feel like your whole world is falling apart. And as if everything you once knew (or thought you knew) has been a misconception.

Being deceived and betrayed by someone you considered a friend is painful. All the trust you had for this person, destroyed. Some people are master manipulators, toxic, and good at faking their loyalty. But, trust, in due time God always exposes those who are against you.

How do you deal with betrayal?

1. PRAY. Talk to God and tell Him how you feel. When a close friend hurts you, it can be difficult to confide in another friend because you do not want to set yourself up to be hurt again. And that's fine. Take your time to process your feelings so you are able to effectively express them. I love Psalm 34:18, it says: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." The reason we go through difficult circumstances is so that we can seek God to comfort us. The reason why people hurt us is so that we can learn to depend more on Christ and less on others. A friend stabbing you in the back should be the least of your worries and it should never distract you from gaining spiritual momentum. Continue to pray, and not just for yourself but for everyone involved.

2. Release your emotions. Betrayal can feel like a punch to the gut. It leaves you breathless, stunned. Do not hold onto those negative emotions but it is also valid to feel however you feel. If you feel sad, feel sad. If you feel angry, feel angry. Just do not allow these emotions to dictate how you react. Instead, release them. Do something you love. For me, I love to write and writing helps me to heal and helps me to release my emotions. Your healing is contingent upon the release of whatever animosity or resentment or disappointment or any negative emotion you are carrying.

3. Talk to the person who hurt you. This can be difficult but having a honest, real conversation with the person who hurt you leads to closure and gives you the peace you need to move forward. If they are not willing to have a honest, real conversation with you, then their loss. And that is where you have to cut ties with them. Not everyone is meant to be your friend and that is okay. Sometimes God allows a "friend" to betray us in order to redirect us to developing friendships with the right people.

Remember, people are not perfect and you have no control over how they will treat you. But you have the choice to overcome the hurt they caused you, to forgive them, to let things go, and to move on. My prayer is that you allow God to assure you that His love is greater than anyone's mistreatment towards you.