4 Things I Look for in a Friend

Friends, how many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on.

I do not have many friends, but the ones I do have, I cherish. I tend to keep my circle small. The older I get, the more I am realizing that it is hard for me to make genuine friends, but it has become so easy to let go of friendships that no longer serve a purpose. I truly value myself, therefore, I take into great consideration who I spend time with and who I invest in.

In order for someone to be my friend, they have to meet a few prerequisites. These are a few key things I look for in a friend, as well as key things I try to be as a friend to others:

1. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty

For goodness sake, please be loyal. Have my back and I'll have yours. Stick by my side and I'll stick by yours. I need a friend who is not just supportive of me and my endeavors, but I need a friend who keeps me spiritually accountable. I want genuine relationships that result in personal and spiritual growth on both ends.

2. Outspoken

I am introverted and it takes time for me to warm up to people. Most of my closest friends are the polar opposite: extraverted, outgoing, talkative. I need someone to balance out my calm and serious demeanor. I need someone who will help me to get out of my shell, someone who will push me to be the charismatic Clarissa I really am.

3. Their Time

Quality time is my love language, so spending time with my friends is huge for me. I shouldn't be the only one making the initiative to go hang out. For someone to be my friend, they have to really want to spend time with me. I get it, we're both adults, we have busy lives but I don't need friends who cannot find the time to be my friend.

4. Honesty

As friends, I don't have anything to hide from you and you shouldn't have anything to hide from me. Real, authentic friends are very important to me. I don't want to have surface-level conversations. I want to be comfortable enough to be transparent with my friends and I want my friends to be comfortable enough to be transparent with me.

So, what do you look for in a friend? What matters to me, may not matter to some and vice versa.

But the most important thing I acknowledge is that my friends are human, like myself, and aren't perfect, like myself. Although it is great to have expectations for your relationships, it is imperative that we don't hold people to our high standards that when they fail to meet them, we no longer look at them the same. We must extend grace to our friends the same way God extends His grace to us.