5 Reasons Why I'm Still Single

It's another Valentines Day. And without fail, I always think that somehow this is the year I will finally be romantically involved with a man. Nope. I am twenty three, still single, and really analyzing what exactly is the root to my singleness. Some say singleness is a calling. Well, it definitely isn't mine. I may have been single for, well, forever but God knows I truly desire to one day be pursued. So what exactly am I doing wrong? Here are some of the reasons why I believe I am still single:

1. I'm picky. I am super choosy when it comes to who I date. I know what I want. First and foremost, He has to be a man after God's own heart. He has to be smart, loyal, respectful, down-to-earth, funny, somewhat sensitive, and attractive. However, I can't expect perfection. No man will ever be perfect enough. But if a man doesn't seem to particularly fit my description, I scratch him off the list.

2. I like being alone, to an extent. I enjoy doing things by myself and being independent. I'm not attached to anyone. I am free! Free to be selfish, to pursue my goals and aspirations without having to consider someone else. Although eventually I would want someone to share life with. But I have become so comfortable and used to being single, it's all I know.

3. I have high expectations and standards. I know my value and worth, and I desire to be with a man who is able to notice how valuable and worthy I am, and vice versa. I believe that only a certain special type of man is deserving of a special woman like me. I don't necessarily believe in "the one," because there are a lot of "ones" I could get with but I am looking for a particular one--the right one. Sadly, I am starting to believe he doesn't exist.

4. I don't give guys a chance. This is a biggie. Because I am so picky and I whether watch Netflix alone, I've seemed to somehow convince myself that I am better off single. I am known to push guys away because I tend to want to be "just friends." Whenever a guy asks me out, I find some lame excuse because really he's not my type or really I am not prepared to give my heart away. I am always promoting the importance of a man pursuing a woman first (and not vice versa); however, every guy who initially pursues me, I turn down. I need to start giving guys a chance, getting to know them before I write them off, give them the benefit of the doubt. I may have lost out on a potentially great relationship by not being willing to go out with a guy because he didn't seem to match my standards.

5. I fear intimacy yet I long for it. I am scared to give my heart away. I have become so accustomed to protecting my heart from breaking, but at the same time, I am depriving my heart from experiencing true intimacy--something my heart desires. Crazy thing is I want to fall in love and have an intimate relationship with a man, but I am afraid to open my heart and reveal who I am to someone. This is definitely something I'm still working on because I believe it starts with my relationship with God. If I can pour my heart out to the God of the universe and become intimate with Him, I am capable of being intimate with a man, who is human like me. Who makes mistakes like me. Who has a past like me.

So, are you single? Have you been single for a long time like me? Have you considered what may be the cause to your singleness? Singleness is not a curse. I am in no way saying "HELP ME! I need a man!" I wanted to write a vulnerable post about my struggle with finding love so it could potentially help someone else. I want to eventually marry someone one day. It won't be anytime soon, but I am learning to love God, myself, and others through the process so when I am married, I can properly love my husband. And it's easy to say: "Just be content in your singleness." Contentment is challenging because the heart wants what the heart wants. But I pray you find joy in being single. Find joy in focusing on strengthening your relationship with God before you pursue any other relationship (1 Corinthians 7:34-35). Joy turns into contentment. God loves you immensely, more than you know. And that alone is enough.

If you happen to be single like me, comment below what struggles you face being single. I will reply to each comment!

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